Now here's the deal. I was so so sure that I would not complain or rant for a while to average out the whiney undertone of the blog. And I intended to pretty much do just that. Nah-nah. You can't deny that really. So much so, that just when I am being all nice and positive and chirpy and downright cheerful, life decided to push me to the edge by giving me ridiculously bugging days at work. So bugging, they actually start getting more amusing than bugging and then in a while we forget that this has been a bugging day afterall. And even though we start at 7 in the morning for work, and it is like 8 in the night right now, and we are still at work, and we are still not sure when we would leave, and more importantly why we are still here, it still feels more funny than bugging. Heh, such happiness I have to say. But not good really, because the usual angry me somehow feels a little more accomplished at the end of it all. Relieved, after losing it more than once in front of more than a few important work people. Harmful, but very stress busting type activity that is. But now, when we are allowed to be rantier, unhappier, all we are doing is typing this highly incoherent blog, and venting out the frustration, by, guess what, putting up abusive status message on google. No-no, not random abuses, but more specific, changing the receiver with situational changes during the day. But in reality, we think that is a mega-loser thing to do. When really, we should be huffing and puffing (and blowing the house down), and stomping around, and passing random comments about buggers inc. to anyone who cares to hear, and increasing the volume when a member of buggers inc. is in audible distance, we are putting status messages. So. not. Ok.

On a not so different note, Excel is a weird invention. We share a typical love-hate relationship with it. Now on days, we look at all the things this sheet with rows and columns can do, and ooh and aah about how awesome all this automation is, and how did people survive without this before Bill Gates existed and all that. And on the next day, when we are hard-pressed for time, and running out of the small stock of patience we usually carry around, it acts totally weird. It will give random error messages, which you would need to google, search solutions for, fix, only to end up with another such message, only a different one this time. That's enough for us to hate it with all our heart, only the next week, when there is less work and more time, and we find out yet another awesome formula, we start liking it again. And yes ofcourse, Excel definitely features as the non-human member of Buggers Inc. Why would we bring it up otherwise.

 I really don’t.

So I watched Dostana this weekend. And I loved it. Despite the fact that I had to wait outside a local theatre, so that I would get the tickets in black, and came to know that even those were sold out. Despite that I had to go to a really old, out of the way theatre to watch it, and there too, all I got were upper stall tickets. And which of course meant that I was surrounded by weirdoes who were cheering, whistling, shouting for almost everything. Heck, I could hear cat calls when the Nima Sandal ad played, at Preeti Jhangiani that too. You get what I am saying right?

But I thought it was worth it. Not in a DDLJ sort of way, I doubt I would be seeing it again anytime soon, but accept it, it made me laugh. A Lot at that, and that’s something not all movies are able to do these days really.

But that’s not my point. I have been trying to read what others thought about the movie, and I come across too many blog posts discussing how nonsensical the concept was, how insensitive the portrayal of the gay characters was, how the research done was inadequate, how the movie was a mockery of relationships, blah blah.

I just want to say– Give me a break. Seriously dude. Go to IMDB; check the genre under which the movie is categorized. It says Romance/Comedy. COMEDY. And pray would you tell me, when was any movie sensitive when it was supposed to be a comedy? When did we not have stereotypical characters? I can actually say this out of personal experience, being a tam, and having lived my initial 17 years in UP. Every time, the word South Indian was used, my classmates would go, ‘Aiyyo Rama’, or switch to what they thought was a south Indian accent! Why? Because countless Bollywood movies have the tams, in veshtis, wearing huge vibhuthi naamams on their foreheads, and of course talking in that funny/comic accent. And no, I was not supposed to take offense, because, it was supposed to be funny!

And so was this. I might be repeating what a lot of people said. It is a K Jo movie, for heaven’s sake. When you go for a K Jo movie, you go for the locales, the music, the pretty clothes, the sets, and the exaggeration of sentiments. He made KANK, the most rotten concept ever! And he tried to sell it as a love story! Please keep in mind this fact, and all will seem better. I know this was a much exaggerated comedy, but people, it was supposed to be one. Atleast be thankful, that the movie shifted from its stereotypical image of gay character, who is always dressed in flowery clothes, has the typical gait, and talks in that weird feminine way. Hello! It had John and AB as the gay couple; could it get any better than that? Also, Kiron Kher added to the funnies in a beautiful way! And please, don’t say the extremely hilarious scene where she welcomes John into the house was a mockery of relationships and all! I think the ‘Jaane Kyun’ song summarizes the relationship bit quite well in itself!

About the research part, I couldn’t care less. Ok, so they showed erroneous laws and procedures in Miami. Fine. Is that what is hurting you, the General Knowledge bit? Do you think gay couples will be misled, and start moving to Miami thinking it is much simpler to survive there? No nuh? Then why are you so bothered? You might as well assume they were in this far away, illusionary where all this was actually true, just because it made the story get ahead. Would is make a difference? About child manipulation, the idea was to make us all go ‘Oh man, are they mean or what!’ Instead, we brought in the moral police once more. Leave them at home when you’re coming for some mindless entertainment, will ya?

In short, I think a big deal is being made about nothing. Why take everything as a moral issue? Or as a personal one? Does it really matter? I don’t think so. The purpose is entertainment, take it that way for once. As they would say in Hyderabad ‘Thoda Light lo bhai’.

And yeah, do go watch the movie.

Oh man, do I have a long list today or what! So if; 

• You’re not in a mood to read a long list of rants
• Have a report to submit before leaving today
• Get depressed when you read depressing posts
• Have just had a heavy lunch

Kindly click the small cross sign on the top right corner of the page. This post is capable of wasting your time, making you sad (for me of course, where is the empathy eh?), or even putting you to sleep.

For the braver folks, here we go!

• So now we have power cuts. Oh, cuts makes it so sound small and short. These are more like gashes, wounds even. Big, evil ones. They used to be for an hour, stretched to two, and currently are at four. And if the papers are to believed, this is just the beginning of the reign of darkness. Not darkness really, because they happen at 8 AM, sharp. And I have to wake up. Which is good, if I had something to do till I leave for work at 11, but no, there is nothing, no power you see. All this because there isn’t enough water to run the turbines and generate electricity, which brings us to item 2
• There is no rain! The clouds refuse to burst. I cannot believe how stubborn they are. I mean, just yesterday, there was this full thunder and lightning show for an hour, and really black clouds looming low and all. But it didn’t rain a drop in the night! Rain God is angry or something (Indra no?) Or probably, he finished this year’s quota last year itself. I think I can even guess what date he must have done that, 23^rd June? The wedding day?
• And of course, no water in the clouds, means no water on the ground, means no water inside the ground, means no water to pull out, means no water in the taps. Which means early morning routine of filling all possible buckets in the house (oh I don’t wake up by then, so this is told as heard).
• And then there is the fuel shortage, which leads to a cab shortage. Now, for those who have read this place before, you know how I love my cab rides home, especially since they give me a glimpse of the world I didn’t know existed. But now, they are not there. Every night we wait for two headlights to shine through the darkness, and then for the supervisor guy to shout "26!"(Which is our cab number by the way in this hypothetical situation), only that it doesn’t happen until we have waited sufficiently, sufficiently being a couple of hours. So now we know how many bricks make the cab area’s back wall, and also, that if we stare for long enough at darkness, we can in fact spot quite a few things which were initially invisible to the eye.
• And of course, the new rule at the work place. Food items are not to be brought or consumed at the work desk. Ok fine. Food items include coffee. Huh? What? And how is one supposed to get rid of the immense headaches generated through hours of staring at excel sheets again? Reason being, people might drop the food, and it might not be cleaned, and that would create an unhealthy environment. And what were we paying the maintenance guys for again? Also, this will attract rats, which might chew the network cords. Ah, you have a point there, don’t you? But I beg to differ; see, since we are dehati enough to drop all the food on the ground, which would be feast enough for the rat, why would the poor thing choose the extremely useless network cord over it? Ours is grey that too, not even bright and pretty to lure it.

Enough you say? Oh, there is a lot more, these are just off the top of the head! Aren’t you feeling sorry for me already? Anyhow, will stop now. So, while you can get back to work, I will get back to wallowing in self pity, ok? Ok.

This is definitely not the best mood to be in when the intent is to resurrect a part-dead blog. But again, probably it is because it is finally making me post. And this, I will make sure does get published, unlike the 30 thousand other posts which I started, and didn’t complete, because when I revisited them they didn’t make as much sense, or completed but didn’t post because by the time I logged in again, they had lost relevance because the discussed matter was way too long in the past.

Anyways, back to the post and the extremely foul mood. I am tired. No, that is an under-statement. I am exhausted. And though I always thought I was someone who would not let what others want , effect what I do or the way I do it, I realized that at the end of the day, I am allowing things to happen the way they are, despite the fact that I am hating them.

It’s high time that some basic disclaimers about the way I operate are set out. On this blog that is, because I am incapable of communicating the same to more appropriate authorities.

- I switch off at 9 PM. That is the maximum I can push myself to be aware and in control of what I am saying or doing. So if there is anything scheduled for after that, I am sorry, I am not part of it. And even so, if you push me to be, I am not responsible for the consequences

- If you want a meeting, schedule it a day in advance. Sending me an appointment, 5 minutes before I am all set to leave for home will only make me angry (and bunk the next day). Also, please check with the point above before fixing anything

- My weekends are mine. And I love them. In fact, I have realized that the only reason why I survive a whole week is the anticipation of the weekend that would finally arrive. So refrain from invading my weekend, and if you do, expect weird excuses.

- There is no word like ‘stretching’ in my dictionary. I firmly believe that stretching beyond your regular hours basically showcases your inefficiency or the fact that you take too many coffee breaks. I cannot be classified under either category, and hence I am not supposed to stretch. And I won’t.

- Don’t ever say, ‘I wish I had your job, you always leave on time’. Try surviving one day working non-stop in front of the system, and getting up only in case of life and death situations, and then talk. Yes, that is a continuation of the rant above.

Ok, that I guess would be it for now. And this list is always subject to updates, so more later. As of now, it is 9:30 PM and I am off to a meeting, which by the way violates both points 1 and 2 above. So much for the disclaimers. Farewell!

And so, with a refreshed resolution to get back at the weighing machine (which showed a number higher than what it did when I first joined the gym, effectively rendering my two months of self-torture useless) I finally subjected myself to an hour long workout after a whole 15 day break. And promised myself that I am never bunking again. Well, atleast not for this long.

But still, this is so unfair!

Where am I you ask? Ah, such an interesting question. I happen to be at work. Yes, still, and since my LJ clocks is permanently malfunctioning, let me tell you the time too. It’ s 10:55 PM. Yep, Friday night, 10:55 PM and I am at work. Nah-Nah, Its not about work, it’s neither month nor quarter close. I am here to have fun. Awesome, isn’t it? I am here to do some major team bonding, and rehearse a really funny skit, which would obviously be so hilarious that practicing it cannot be not fun, can it? 

Ok, I officially bugged. Here’s the deal, I like working, I cannot stay at home the whole day. Infact, even if I am sick, the prospect of sitting at home doing nothing doesn’t appeal to me. And I thoroughly endorse fun at work. Straight faced accountants, clicking at the keyboard all the time need some light moments, and so we bring in the fun aspect. The fun at work aspect. But have you ever heard of forced fun? If not, you should be here, I am having it right now, and trust, it so gets on your nerves! When I would rather be home with the Dude, planning the weekend, watching a movie (or even discussing the markets if you want), I am here waiting to rehearse for a skit, whose script has not yet been decided upon. Seriously, heights! And that’s not the end folks, we have more. It has to be performed day after tomorrow, yes, a Sunday, where in you need to be at the chosen fun resort by 11 AM (start at 9) and stay till 12 in the night. To have fun after all.

Phew, that kinda helped take off some steam. I am bugged, seriously. What else explains 3 posts in one day? Huh? Yes I am counting the visual DNA thingie too. Anyways, its back to having fun now, so till then, Ciao!

Right now I want to;

1. Go to Vacs, and eat a chocolate box. It’s this 3 inch by 3 inch cube, with walls made of solid chocolate, which are a centimeter thick, and filled with chocolate cream, and with a chocolate stick to dip into it and eat.
2. Go to a disc which plays dhinchaak bollywood numbers and Punjabi tracks, and dance till I get all tired and breathless (and somehow make up in part for the sinful evil junk that I consumed earlier).
3. Get back home, and watch a movie (a mush flick would help) and have an unlimited supply of popcorn, lays, and coke.

         (And yeah, all of the above with The Dude of course.)

Right now I am;

1. Sitting at my desk, with no work, and no idea as to when I will get back home.
2. Feeling really sleepy, and miserable about my state.
3. And hence, typing this post.

Btw, Happy Valentine’s Day to y’all!

Today seems to be one of those very rare days, when you get quite a bit to learn from life! So here go my learnings for the day!

·        Cutting down on the Coke stock at home doesn’t help. You might have to prepare fresh lemonade at 2 am the morning to escape the heat and thirst. In all probability, you might not be completely conscious, and might end up cutting your finger (real bad) along with the lemon.

·        Forget about going to work by the 12 PM shuttle. It’s ok to stretch, but not ok to step out in the Hyderabad sun at noon, even if it means spending more hours in office.

·        If you are of the habit of removing your glasses from time to time, make sure that you check the contents of the case before putting it in your bag while going home. Chances are, the glasses are not in it, and you are obviously not getting them back the next day.

·        Do not start reading a book, especially if it is a thriller, at 1 AM in the night. You will not put it down before 4, even if you know you have to wake up at 8 the next morning, thanks to the usual power-cut.  And then, you will be sleepy all through the next day, and crib unnecessarily about headaches.
 

·        If you are bored of Himesh Reshammiya’s music, do not switch to MTV or V channel, at any hour of the day. Doesn’t matter, he would be all you are going to get to listen to, and you will end up cribbing yet again.



                                          Phew! Must say, that was quite a lot for one day!:-(

Updates: No we couldn’t move into the Oh-so-pretty house we had checked out the week, I wrote my last blog entry. And more importantly, purely on the assumption that we would infact have moved out by now, our replacements in our present place of residence have arrived. Bag and baggage.

Immediate repercussions: One of them would rather shift into a single room, the reason being she’s too tired, exhausted, and would rather shift into a single room immediately, so that she can relax (or wotever!!!!), and so, my entire weekend is spent clearing out one of the cupboards, for pure-veg-flatmate to move in. And now, my extremely pretty, airy, bright, and spacious room, has been converted into a railway platform miniature.

Plan of action: To find another house ASAP. Wanted, a two BHK, somewhere in Begumpet which is equi-distant from both our offices; not too far from the main road, or else it would be difficult to catch the shuttle to work everyday; and with cupboards / shelves please. But apparently, such places don’t exist.

Current situation: Status quo. After two days of following the broker chap, to the sidiest of localities, the dingiest of apartments, and the stinkiest of roads, we still don’t have a place to move into L.

Other than this, life has been busy, yet good. I mean, you would obviously be expected to stretch and complete all the pending work, if you are just back from an awesome 9 day vacation at home, wouldn’t you? So, no complaints there.

Also, very much looking forward to the visit to Jim Corbet national Park in Uttaranchal, the weekend after next. Yup! The campus recruits offsite is finally happening!

That’s about it I guess, and think its actually not so bad. Except for probably the house hunt. But I have found out this totally effective method of drowning my sorrows, frustrations, etc. Paani – poori. I seem to be consuming enormous amounts of those whenever I get a chance. So much so, I think I am going to write a post about this wonderful piece of culinary art. Some other time though. Probably, when I have a place to live in peacefully again. *Sigh*